The Voice of Reason

Must-reading for any viewer of the latest Indiana Jones debacle installment: "50 Flaws of Indy IV," whereby Mystery Man, anonymous-yet-perspicacious Hollywood screenwriter extraordinaire, breaks down practically scene-by-scene where David Koepp's sure-to-be Razzie nominated screenplay goes wrong.

Excerpts:

I would submit to you that the entire enterprise felt half-hearted simply because Indy was under-motivated. An Indiana Jones film does not hang its hat on the McGuffin but rather Indy’s motivation. The McGuffin doesn't matter. What matters is how important that McGuffin is to Indy. If Indy wants an artifact more than anything, then the audience will want him to have it more than anything....We cared in Raiders because Indy WANTED the Ark. We cared in TOD because we saw the dying village and Indy WANTED to get the stones for them. We cared in LC because we met his Dad, albeit briefly, in the opening flashback sequence before we learned about his disappearance. [In Crystal Skull], some professor and some woman we never knew and haven’t seen is missing? Who cares?

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I question the point of Mac’s character. The idea of a double-crossing sidekick is great fun, but he was never put to good use. In fact, they totally gave the game away in the very beginning with Mac's betrayal at the warehouse. He turns on Indy before we ever had a chance to get to know the guy.

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The exposition in the diner scene was the worst in the franchise. This was the most amateurish rock-bottom handling of exposition that could have been written. It was two talking heads in a diner. That's it. Remember how visual the exposition was in the Raiders setup with the big book and the chalkboard and the talk about the Well of Souls? That's great exposition. That was exciting!....Here, it's just two talking heads....One of the bedrock principles of screenwriting: show, don’t tell.

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Two problems with Indy finding the skull. First, you make the whole experience and joy of discovery less special (or not special at all) if it’s a tomb that Indy doesn’t discover for the first time and if it’s an artifact that Indy isn’t the first to find. Here, the tomb's already been raided, the artifact was found, taken, and put back for Indy to find later. That’s ridiculous. That pulls the rug out from all the fun of watching Indy do what he does best.

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Irina Spalko - She was the worst and weakest of the villains....Koepp cock-blocks every opportunity to make her a great villain. First, he should've established early just how BAD she really is. The worst thing she ever did was whip out her sword....Also, why make Spalko a psychic if A) she can’t even read Indy’s mind and B) nothing else develops from it?

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Oodles more fun to be had. And a welcome tonic to the arguments of some of the film's defenders, who have veered from their initial false equivalencies (e.g., "This is exactly the way it happened in Last Crusade"!) and are now resorting to desperation Hail Marys ("Spielberg made it bad on purpose!"). Good luck with that one, gang.